i'm rung out. it can only be described as violent. the human body doing everything it can to rid itself of a toxin...a poison. mental, physical, spiritual. it clenches itself and will use every resource to see that every possible source of danger is gone.
how so is our soul? how so is our heart? how so is our mind? how violently do we vomit what is toxic to our innermost selves? we will destroy what is most precious to us with our words, with our faces, with our eyes, with our actions... it is all violent because we want to rid ourselves of what we believe to be toxic to us. we convulse and cramp and humiliate ourselves. everything inside us comes out. it doesn't matter what it is or where it came from or who it's for or what it will look like. it comes out all over whoever or whatever is standing there. to digest it would be to take it into ourselves and make it part of us...we would die then. we've died enough already. do not get in the way. do not ask us to make you a part of this. we can only go so far. we know our limits.
all over the porcelain god we expel the poison because we cannot digest it...to stomach what we have taken in....what we have allowed ourselves to taste and enjoy if even for just a moment. it felt good. but now we are paying the price. the price we pay for getting rid of it is high. to rid our bodies and souls and spirits of the things we've taken into ourselves is violent...it is vomiting.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
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